10 Christmas Gifts for the Man Who Has Everything, Ranked by How Long He'll Actually Keep Them
Christmas gifts for the man who says he doesn't need anything, ranked by how long he'll actually keep them. Our #1 is a novel starring him, from $39.90.
He says he doesn't need anything. He's right. So we stopped asking what he needs and started asking what he'd keep.
“I have laughed harder than I have in a long time AND that was just the 1st chapter.”
You know the type. He buys what he wants the day he wants it. Last year's gifts are in a drawer, still in the box. Every December you end up in the same place: socks, a bottle, a gadget he'll use twice. This year, try something else.
So for this list we used one test: how long will this stay with him? An afternoon? A season? Or for good? Here's how ten popular gifts score, best first.
#1 A real novel where he's the main character
MagicBook by Tooxt
Everything else on this list is something he could have bought himself. This one he couldn't: a printed, 180-page novel starring him, built from his habits, his job, his catchphrases and the little things only you know. His face is on the cover. His name is on the spine as the author.
You choose the kind of story. A comedy that roasts his golf swing, a spy thriller, a murder mystery, a sci-fi adventure, or the story of his life. It doesn't have to be a joke. It has to be him.
- You see his cover before you pay. Upload one photo and the cover appears in a couple of minutes, so there's no guessing whether it looks like him.
- Nobody else can give it. It's written from your answers, so no two books are the same.
- It stays on the shelf. People keep books with their name on them. Nobody re-gifts their own novel.
- Paperback or hardcover, with an optional dedication from you on the first page.
Four Letters
Evan Parker had done the Sunday crossword in pen every week for eleven years, and he was not about to break the streak over 14 Down.
“Four letters,” he read aloud. “A man who already has everything.”
Karen didn't look up from her coffee. “Evan.”
He counted it out on his fingers twice, which was once more than necessary, and wrote it in. It fit perfectly. That was the annoying part.
1. Tell us about him
His name, a photo, the story style.
2. Tap what makes him him
Hobbies, quirks, who he is to you.
3. See his cover
Before you pay anything.
A second gift inside: he gets $10 off a book of his own, so he can write one about you next.
What happened when people gave it
“I purchased it as a Christmas present for my husband and I can't wait for him to open it and start reading. I have laughed harder than I have in a long time AND that was just the 1st chapter. Thank you for the best gift ever!!!”
“He couldn't put it down once he started reading it.”
“I can't wait to give this to him on our 22nd anniversary celebration in Vegas soon!”
Tooxt is rated 4.7 on Trustpilot.
The other nine, ranked
All good gifts. None of them is about him.
A star map of a night that mattered
A print of the sky over the night you met or the night a kid was born. Sentimental, and it looks good framed.
The catch: it's about a date, not about him.
An experience day
A track day, a cooking class, a distillery tour. A great story to tell afterwards.
The catch: it's over in an afternoon, and it has to fit his calendar.
An engraved multitool
Well made, genuinely useful, with his initials on the handle.
The catch: the “personal” part is two letters. He may already own three.
A DNA ancestry kit
Spit in a tube, wait a few weeks, find out you're 4% something surprising.
The catch: it tells him about his ancestors. Our #1 tells his story.
A custom bobblehead
A little figure that looks like him. Guaranteed laugh at the unwrapping.
The catch: it's one joke, and then it lives on a shelf at the office.
A monthly tasting box
Whisky, coffee or hot sauce, a new box every month.
The catch: it's consumed, and the subscription quietly ends.
A smart grill thermometer
For the barbecue man. His steaks will thank you.
The catch: useful, not personal. He'd have bought it himself next summer.
A retro handheld console
The games he played as a kid, back in his pocket.
The catch: a big nostalgia hit for about a week.
Premium slippers and a robe
The safe choice. Soft, warm, impossible to get wrong.
The catch: he'll like them and forget who gave them to him.
The list at a glance
| Gift | About him? | Could he buy it himself? | Keeps it? |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 A novel starring him | Yes | No | For good |
| #2 Star map | A date | Yes | Years |
| #3 Experience day | No | Yes | A day |
| #4 Engraved multitool | Initials | Yes | Years |
| #5 DNA kit | His ancestors | Yes | One email |
| #6 Bobblehead | His face | Yes | One laugh |
| #7 Tasting box | No | Yes | Weeks |
| #8 Grill thermometer | No | Yes | A season |
| #9 Retro console | No | Yes | A week |
| #10 Slippers and robe | No | Yes | Until worn out |
Questions people ask about #1
Will the cover really look like him?
You see the cover on screen before you pay. If it doesn't look like him, try another photo or don't order. A clear, front-facing photo works best.
How much does it cost?
In the US, $39.90 for the paperback and $49.90 for the hardcover, with free shipping. Outside the US you see the price in your currency before you pay.
Is it actually a real book?
Yes. A printed novel of about 180 pages, in hardcover or paperback, with his name on the cover as the author.
Does it have to be funny?
No. Pick a comedy, a thriller, a mystery, a sci-fi or fantasy story, or the story of his life. You decide the tone.
What do I need to make it?
His name, one photo, and a few taps about what he's like. About two minutes.
Can I add a personal message?
Yes. You can add an optional dedication on the first page.
What's the $10 for him?
Every book comes with $10 off a first order for the person who receives it, so he can make one for someone else.
Is Tooxt legit?
Tooxt is rated 4.7 on Trustpilot. You also see the cover before you pay, so you know what you're getting.
Advertising disclosure: this guide is published by Tooxt, the company that makes MagicBook, and is paid advertising. So yes, we're biased about #1. We still think the other nine are good gifts, and we don't sell any of them. Reviews are quoted from Trustpilot.
This Christmas, give him the one thing he can't buy himself
A novel about him, with his face on the cover. See it before you pay. Order by November 30 to have it for Christmas.
Create his book